January 2010
2009 Rocked. 2009 Sucked.
Old Charlie D had it right. It’s always the best and worst of times.
Let’s focus on the former.
I have been privileged enough to give and receive love every single day of this year.
I saw one son survive and recover from major surgery.
I watched the other walk across the stage in his cap and gown.
We all watched their sister go from crawling to walking to running.
I started...
December 2009
Man Accused of Stealing Beer from Truck Stuck in... →
If he’s stuck in the snow he ought to be easy to arrest.
Dangling Modifier Patrol out.
The man who is scaling Mt. Criterion film by film... →
“My absolute favorite commentary track on any Criterion title so far,” he said, “is the one with NASA consultant Dr. Joe Allen and asteroid consultant Ivan Bekey (as well as the cinematographer, Joe Schwartzman) talking about ‘Armageddon.’ It’s basically two-and-a-half hours of these guys saying, over and over again, ‘We told Michael Bay that this scene...
Times Square gets all-clear after van... →
Security in the area is tight as preparations are made for the huge New Year’s Eve celebration that will be held there Thursday night. The party is usually attended by thousands of people.
“How many people go to Times Square for New Year’s?”
“I dunno. I could check with the organizers.”
“Never mind. I’ll just say ‘thousands’....
IDIOCY IN THE WILD
frageelaytwit:
beeborg:
ME: You know the author Anais Nin, she wrote Atlas Shrugged.
DAVE: No, she didn’t. That was Anne Hathaway.
ME: …
DAVE: No. No. It was Anne Frank.
—- end transcription.
This is classic Doofuses conversing. WE ARE BOTH STUPID!
Ann Coulter, duh. GOD. You guys really are stoopid.
AYN RAND-MCNALLY WRITES ALL OF THOSE ATLASES YOU MORANS
A Short Story
The Question just hung there, unanswered.
This was the most annoying part of the job.
She’d made her peace with the rest of it. The unceasing parade of faceless strangers, each bringing with them a list of desires—of needs. Endless variety on the surface, but all the same to her. Just go through the motions, collect the money. It may have held some pleasure for her once, but that was a...
The Adventures of Probable Flu Woman and The Torn...
Worst crime fighting duo ever.
I’m not even gonna call band name on it.
I just want her fever to break and my toe to stop hurting.
I fuckin' hate books
(via weselec)
Did you know that, in bulk, used books are cheaper than toilet paper?
The classics are the softest.
Caught my big toe's nail on the carpet,
breaking about a quarter of it off.
Favored that foot while “penguin walking” on ice,
leading to a cramped calf muscle,
which led to an overworked hamstring,
which is triggering back spasms.
At this rate I’ll be in traction before the year ends.
My Distraction-Free Writing Program
frageelaytwit:
terrybain:
brilliantorange:
1. Get a pen.
2. Get some paper.
3. Fine, you baby, use your computer.
4. TURN OFF THE INTERNET.
5. I SAID TURN OFF THE INTERNET.
6. Open a program. Start writing.
7. SHOOT ANYONE WHO TRIES TO STOP YOU. WARNING SHOTS ARE OKAY.
8. If silence isn’t ambient enough for you, try the following:
Lou Reed - METAL MACHINE MUSIC
George Winston -...
Kurt Andersen on the Large Hadron Collider | ... →
because the super-conducting, super-colliding guts of the collider must be cooled by 120 tons of liquid helium, inside the machine it’s one degree colder than outer space, thus making the L.H.C. the coldest place in the universe.
daniellei:
How do you pronounce Chilean?
Please...
The problem with not having my books organized to...
Is when I look for that book I want to re-read, it becomes those books I want to re-read.
Four Great Harlan Ellison Titles
I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream (also a great short story)
The Beast That Shouted Love At The Heart Of The World (also also a great short story)
The Glass Teat (essays on television)
The Other Glass Teat (more essays on television)
I can testify that the first two are great titles in both the name and content senses.
I’ve been unable to locate copies of the others. If anyone has...
How To Tell A Joke - Roger Ebert →
“Gee, I hope that’s not a hostage.”
– Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson, LAPD
Bob Rivers - *Who Put The Stump?”
The...
Does playing multiple simultaneous games of WwF...
Just me?
Okay.
1 in 5 Divorces Blamed on Facebook →
essdogg:
Here’s where most people say “Don’t post stupid things to Facebook” when what we should really say — and heed — is “Don’t do stupid shit, period.”
Agreed.
This is also where I have to point out to the author of the “”article”” that 989 instances of the word “Facebook” in 5000 petitions is not the same as one in five petitions blaming Facebook.
“Remember also that nobody else will see your fears and weaknesses. You see...”
– Rory Marinich: Do It Already
Official Google Blog: Google Sidewiki →
We’re releasing Google Sidewiki as a feature of Google Toolbar (for Firefox and Internet Explorer) and we’re working on making it available in Google Chrome and elsewhere too.
It’s hard to get excited when your primary browser is listed as “elsewhere too”.
(vi everythinginthesky)
I've lived in the United States all my life.
Yet I have to force myself to spell “behavior” without a “u”.
I have no urge to spell “color” as “colour”, or “neighbor” as “neighbour”.
It’s just “behavior” that wants to come out “”wrong”“.
My only theory so far is that Pratchett, Gaiman, and Barker might use the one word more...
Top Ten - Top 10 Savagely Insane Quotes from Fear... →
The trunk of the car looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers … and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls …...
I have words
They have friends.
If you can’t find me, you probably don’t want to play me.
A Helpful Guide
Me: Mr. Rod Knowlton
She: Ms. Amanda Shankle-Knowlton
We: Amanda and Rod Shankle-Knowlton (or Rod and Amanda Shankle-Knowlton)
If somebody can tell me how to think: "Life is...
un:
entropyas:
It would be the best Christmas present ever.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Merry Christmas Mrs. Knowlton.
That’s a nice thing you said to my wife, but I don’t understand why you’re wishing my mom a Merry Christmas. :p
